It's All About Love

I really like St. Valentine’s Day! It may have something to do with the fact that my preferred Love Language is Gifts (not familiar with Love Languages? See Marcia Walker’s blog beingyoubeingus.blogspot.com) But it also is about the importance I put on Love as an energy in our world.

According to the folks involved in “A Course in Miracles” all the emotions we experience can be boiled down to two – love and fear. Every response we have comes from one of those places. If we accept that premise, we can preview any situation by imagining what will happen next if we respond from love and then if we respond from fear. We can envision our reaction, the other person’s response to our reaction, and so on until we know the end result of coming from love or coming from fear.

This process gives us a lot of freedom as we make our way through the world or through our day. We always have a choice about how we handle a situation. We can escalate a bad circumstance by choosing fear, or we can have a positive effect on ourselves, other people, and the world by deciding to let love be our guiding light. Regardless of what happens TO us, we get to make a conscious decision regarding how we respond.

So even though it’s not technically St Valentine’s Day any more, try coming from a place of love today, no matter who you’re with or what you do or what happens to you. Let me know how it goes! Blessings, Annie

Lighting the Flames

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer

So it's the month of love and romance again. How's that going for you? As you might imagine, I have a suggestion for bringing special meaning to Valentine's Day in particular, and the Love Month, in general. What if we took Dr. Schweitzer's advice and spent some time remembering the people in our lives who have rekindled our flame? Well, first we'd have to determine what he meant by that term. I think he's referring to the idea that we are here en masse, instead of one at a time, for a reason - to help each other, to lift each other up, and to light each other's flames when one of us is having a hard time. We do this by reminding each other of our greatness, by encouraging one another to refuse to hide our light under a bushel, and by inspiring our family and friends to believe in themselves by showing them how much we believe in them. And in spite of all this, sometimes our light does go out, only to be rekindled by someone else's spark just when we need it most.

Are there people in your life who have rekindled your spark? Why not take advantage of the Love Month to tell them you appreciate them? Mention specifically what they did or said that meant so much to you and the difference they made in your life. Write a letter or tell them in person, leave a voicemail, or even a text message. The means of communication isn't important; the message is. Spread the flame!

Being Great in 2008

Here we are at the beginning of a new year - an opportunity to start over again and get it right this time. But what is 'right'? What changes do we really need to make? I invite you to consider making changes in your life that aren't focused on self-improvement so much as increasing the amount of Joy in your life. There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, but it's important to undertake that quest with complete acceptance of who we are right now. Sound paradoxical? Maybe, but the truth is that when we love ourselves exactly as we are, accepting the good with the flaws, we create the energy necessary to understand which changes we need to make, while still allowing for imperfections.

So let's just pretend that there aren't any big self-improvement jobs needed in 2008, and look at what would bring more Joy into our lives. This will be different for everyone, and for those who aren't used to thinking in terms of Joy, it may take some shifting of your attention and energy. I believe that God wants us to have all the Joy that we can stand, and will help us acquire it, but it's up to us to determine what it is that makes us Joyful. I also believe that Joy can be found in the small thins as well as the big ones, and that it behooves us to pay attention to everything that makes us smile, not just the big, obvious things (like a 2005 yellow Thunderbird). I'm more of a dog person, but for some people, a kitten's purr brightens up their day. For others, a big bouquet of live flowers in the middle of winter brings a smile to their faces. The examples I can think of don't really matter - the ones you can think of do. So imagine all the things, people, sights, sounds, smells, etc. that bring you Joy and resolve to bring more of them into your life. And you just may find that you're so satisfied with your life as it is, that self-improvement happens on its own. Have a Blessed, Joyful New Year!

The Meaning of Christmas - Like I Know!

Over the last few years, I have begun to realize that a lot of the things that I do at Christmas are just habits. Nothing wrong with good habits for sure, but there's also nothing wrong with taking a look at them once in a while and making sure that they are still serving you. I signed up for an on-line class this summer designed to help me be organized and ready for Christmas. This was a good idea and a good class, but the most important thing I took away from it was that if I need 20 weeks to get ready for Christmas, I'm 'doing' way too much, and 'being' way too little.

Giving gifts is one of the Christmas activities that I'm taking a look at this year. Now, I LOVE getting and giving gifts, more than just about anything, and I don't intend to stop doing either. But I'm not so sure that gifts are what Christmas is all about for me now. I certainly give and receive gifts throughout the year, which is great, so maybe I don't need the stress of finding the 'perfect' gifts for all my family and friends just b/c the retailers are flooding the television and radio airwaves saying that I should. And what if the 'perfect' gift were a letter telling someone how much they mean to me and what they add to my life? Who wouldn't want proof on paper that they were special to someone?

It also occurs to me that the meaning of Christmas might be more about others than about me - ya think?! :-) It's almost too easy to get caught up in the parties and commotion and decorating and wrapping, and forget that there are people who not only won't be buying gifts and baking fruit cakes - they may not be sleeping on a real bed Christmas Eve. Maybe my attention could go to making a difference in someone else's life, not just for the holiday season, but year round. Obviously my work as a Life Coach involves making a difference in peoples' lives, but these are people who already have it pretty darn good, and want to make it even better. Making a a contribution to folks who need the playing field leveled a little could raise the energetic vibration for all of us.

If you have ideas for making Christmas and the rest of the year more meaningful, submit a comment to the blog with your suggestions. Let's create lives together that make a difference! Blessings, Annie

Strange Advice

I have an idea that is going to seem a little strange, or may make me sound kind of obsessive, but nevertheless, I believe it is good advice, and I invite you to try it for yourself and see! As we get just about as close to Christmas as we can get without it actually being Christmas, things seem to get a little more frantic, time slips away faster, and more tasks get left undone (at least in my world). My suggestion is to take some time at the end of each day, maybe with a mug of your favorite hot holiday beverage, and make a list of what went wrong that day. Yep, a list of what went wrong.

Why? Because now is the time to prepare for next year's celebrations. When we recognize the things that didn't flow well this year, we can make a note to change it for next year. If we wait until next year, we probably won't remember that something didn't work until it's too late.

For instance, each year some of my gifts are handmade. As you might imagine, it doesn't really work very well to begin crafting gifts in December! And as you also might imagine, in spring and summer, I'm not really thinking about making winter-time gifts. (Those of you who know me know that I'm thinking about the beach all year round!) But if I make myself a note and keep it in my calendar, on one of those rainy summer weekends when I can't be out napping in the hammock on my deck, I can work on some Christmas gifts in my craft room. And come next December, they will be all ready to wrap and give (provided I can remember where I hid them - perhaps another 'note to self' is in order here?)

Of course, it makes sense to keep a log of what went well and what you'd like to do again next year, too. Were the gingerbread cookies especially well received? Put them on the list to make next year. Did you have a Christmas CD that you loved listening to ? Make sure it gets on the list to be brought out right after Thanksgiving. My husband has a rule that no Christmas music can be played until after Thanksgiving. I happen to agree with him, but boy on Friday morning, I'm ready to roll out Josh Groban or Mannheim Steamroller!

So to review, create a ritual for yourself of making note of what you enjoy and look forward to each Christmas, and what you want to do differently next year. Then you're on your way to making your holidays less stressful and more meaningful. Blessings, Annie

Pausing

After reading my friend and colleague Marcia's recent post on The Elf Line, I wanted to remind my readers, as she did hers, to find ways to make the holidays meaningful, instead of rushing through without giving them any thought. My favorite way to be mindful of the meaning of this season is to pause when my clock chimes a Christmas Carol at the top of each hour. I take a slow, deep breath, imagine love flowing into my body with the fresh air, and then send that love out to a family member, friend, or client. It's amazing to me how hard it is to be still for just that brief moment. I tend to fidget and chase my thoughts around in my head and think of other things to do; in other words I want to 'do' instead of just 'be'. But when I can take that brief respite and really feel the love flowing through me and on to someone I care about, it makes a difference in my day, and I believe in the recipient's day too. Try it next time you hear a bell ring (think "It's A Wonderful Life") or see twinkling Christmas lights or light the Hanukah candles, and see what it does for you. 

Made It Through the Holiday Weekend!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, b/c it is all about two of my favorite things - family and food! This year was hard b/c it was my first Thanksgiving without my Chosen Sister, Dana.  We didn't necessarily spend the holiday together, since we lived at opposite ends of TN, but we were important in each other's lives, and when it came time to say what we were thankful for each year, we knew that the other was thinking about her Chosen Sister. Dana passed away last December, after a courageous six-year battle with cancer, leaving her husband, two grown kids, a birth sister, parents, in-laws, and friends to face a year of firsts without her. We have almost made it through that first year, and though our grief eases a little with the passing of time, our memories and love remain strong.  My gratitude for having Dana in my life for 29 years remains also, and she is still at the top of my list of things to be thankful for this season.

If your holiday joy is tinged with the grief of loss, too, don't try to minimize or hide it. Feel it, accept it, and love yourself and the person or situation that you've lost.  Love is the one thing that can never end.