I DID IT!!!

And now...ahhhhh...I'm enjoying a cup of coffee with peppermint creamer, which I found at Target yesterday.  What perfect timing!

I did lose 2 & 1/2 pounds last week. Didn't do anything different, so I don't know what to think about that.

Lessons? I think way too much about food, probably eat too much too. And I had to think even more while cleansing, b/c the choices are so limited. I need to just enjoy my food and my healthy body and eat as healthy as I can without obsessing about it. Being hungry for a few minutes or hours won't kill me, and I'm grateful to know that the hunger is always temporary. 

Will I do it again? I plan to do it a couple of times a year, just for the 'lightning' effect - I feel lighter inside and healthier (and, of course, hungrier - LOL).

Today I'm having sugar, dairy, caffeine, and gluten, but I'm saving alcohol for the weekend. My blueberry smoothie was especially delicious this morning, and my sweet tea at McAlister's with my buddy Andrea (the neighbor to my left that, according to Kathy Freston's book was required to do the cleanse with me) will probably be the best tea I've had this year! Tomorrow I will be more intentional about the sugar, maybe have coffee or tea, not both. But today is a day to celebrate with all my favorite things!

Muchas gracias to my supportive family and friends who held my hand, listened to me whine, and put up with my crankiness these past three weeks. I couldn't have done it without you, especially, you, Jane!  xoxo

Day 17 of 21

Almost there!  Only four nights and four days to go. Here's some surprising news - I have not lost any weight, not one ounce. Now this wasn't solely about losing weight, but it's hard to figure how I could be consuming no sugar (and practically no-thing else) walking and doing yoga most days, and still be ingesting enough calories to maintain my weight. My friend Jane (whom you may remember from the first post as the friend who refused to do this cleanse with me) suggested that maybe my current weight is my 'ideal' weight, and that I should accept myself just as I am. What a novel idea! I think she may be right, but I would like to do a little work on what I fondly refer to as the 'two-baby roll' around my middle. So more yoga is in order, with a side of Pilates.

In the meantime I'm still thinking about what happens Monday. Perhaps McAlister's for lunch - sweet tea and a spud ole with veggie chili, and Craig's famous homemade pizza for dinner. The good thing about not losing weight while cleansing is that I shouldn't have to worry about gaining weight when I can eat normally again. :-)

But I have discovered that I can have a very good salad without cheese or eggs, I enjoy Balsamic vinegar salad dressing, crackers without gluten, and I can definitely do without potato chips. Maybe the most important thing is that I am more intentional about eating...and hopefully by Monday I will be eating to live, not living to eat.

And, BTW, my friend Jane, even though she chose not to participate, has been an awesome support while I've been finding my way through this. Thanks Girlfriend!

Day 14 of 21

I haven't blogged in a while, so just in case you think it's b/c I've fallen off the cleanse wagon (or I'm dead), I'm here to tell you that I'm alive and well and hungry - ha! In some ways the process is getting easier. I know what I can't have and why I'm doing this, and I'm not tempted to cheat. But in other ways it's harder. It's really getting old to have such a limited choice of foods.  There's only so much you can do with vegetables. Don't get me wrong, I love vegetables, but raw, steamed, put in a soup, stir fried - after a while, it all looks and tastes the same.

But you know what? I really don't mean to complain. I am eternally grateful that I have access to good vegetables, a warm home in which to eat them, plenty of seasonings, something to cook them on, and family and friends to support me on this quest. And I'm especially thankful that it's only for three weeks, and I only have one week to go! Then it's a joyful trip to McAlister's for some sweet tea!  Eat on, Annie

Day 8 of 21

Today was fairly easy, but I can't really say why. It's not that I won't say, but I really don't know what was different about today. I didn't think about food so much, and I wasn't too tempted to cheat when I was warming up that home-made mac & cheese for Craig to have with our salads. I won't say that the salad actually filled me up, but the popcorn I ate after dinner while watching Reba did.

I had a terrible meal yesterday with rice almond bread, fake cheese, tomatoes, olives, and basil. The tomatoes and basil were from my garden and were delicious, along with the olives, but they couldn't make up for the dense, heavy bread and not-cheese. Maybe there are some other gluten-free breads out there, or maybe I'll just forsake sandwiches til after the cleanse.

Anyway, the home-made lentil soup made up for the disastrous sandwich, no matter what my son says about it. And lentil soup just gets better each day that it lasts in the fridge. Bon appetit.

One Week Down, Two To Go

I'm one third of the way through the cleanse. I don't feel any different, except that I'm hungry a lot of the time! I'm thinking of other ways to nurture myself than with food, and other things to occupy my time than thinking about food or eating it. Reading a lot! Cleaning. Going through piles. Bugging John about his social life. Fixing big pots of soup - oops, that's about food.

I'm beginning to think in terms of how to modify the radical cleanse instead of going back to the old way of eating when the three weeks is up. Kathy Freston's (whose book I'm using as a model) spiritual integrity requires her to 'do no harm', so she is a vegan. The only 'meat' I was eating before the cleanse was seafood, and I may let go of that. Dairy is another story. I love my cheese! And the fake cheeses I've tried just don't cut it - no pun intended. There is a frozen egg substitute, but so far I haven't found it. Egg Beaters contain egg whites, not egg substitute. Gluten, of course, is everywhere, but since I don't seem to have an allergy to it, I don't think I'll worry about it so much. 

The big dilemma will be my sweet tea. I'm not interested in altering the taste of the tea I love so much, by using Stevia or agave nectar. It's real sugar or no tea, and I'll have to see what happens over the next couple of weeks. If I have McAlister's sweet tea then I'll be having caffeine. Can I employ moderation? Often the answer is no, but in this case, it may be possible. Of course in a few weeks, Carnation will begin offering their Peppermint coffee creamer for the holidays, and then I'm doomed! But you'll notice that I timed this cleanse to be finished before the holidays begin. My mama didn't raise no fool!  Happy eating!

Day 6 of 21

The insights just keep coming. Today's aren't really new, but they're being brought home with more force. Here goes - 1) apparently I spend a lot of time thinking about food and the next meal. This isn't nearly as much fun when the next meal contains no sugar, alcohol, caffeine, gluten, or dairy. I don't mind not having animal products, as I wasn't eating any meat except for seafood when I started the cleanse. But it's hard to get excited about fruit and vegetables over and over again; 2) I tend to reward myself with food or beverages. When I finally make it out of Target, I believe I deserve some McAlister's sweet tea, leaving Kroger's warrants a Starbuck's caramel macchiato. Any 'hardship' should be followed by a reward, and it is almost always food.

So what to do with this information? My intention is to create a new relationship with food, one where food is enjoyable and healthy, but not a reward and not the highlight of my days. This may take some work, so how shall I reinforce myself? Massage? Hot bath with home-made cranberry bath salts? Cold glass of Chardonnay - oops, guess not. Twenty minutes of meditation?

I can do this, and I can learn about myself, and I can make changes in how I deal with food. Keep your fingers crossed!

Day 145, I mean 5, of 21

This is how mean my daughter is - she came home from college for dinner tonight, and requested macaroni and cheese. I reminded her that I can't eat that right now, and she said, "I know".  Sheesh! But I fixed her a big pot of home-made mac & cheese, and other dishes that I could eat - pinto beans, long grain brown rice, and steamed vegetables. She tried to take all the leftover mac & cheese back to the dorm, to spare me the temptation, I'm sure (ha), but her Dad grabbed some to stick in our fridge for him and her brother. And you know what would be even more mean? If she didn't ever come home from college for dinner!  Thanks, Katelyn.

Let me tell you it's not fun fixing delicious food that you can't eat. I just kept reminding myself that it's only for three weeks. I can do anything for three weeks. Right? And now it's only 16 days, but who's counting?

A truly wonderful insight I had today had nothing to do with food, at least not food for the physical body. I was on my way to a meeting, sending up a prayer for guidance, love, and wisdom, b/c I hadn't really done much in the way of preparation. It suddenly dawned on me that I didn't need to pray for guidance, love, and wisdom b/c they are always available to me. I only needed to pray to be open to their flow. How cool is that? Spiritual nurturance (food) that is always there, flowing freely, waiting for us to remember to ask for it. Grace for the asking. Talk about abundance!